Ordinary Risk Extraordinary Joy
Risk ~ Joy ~ Extraordinary
In post the other day I mentioned risk when I said ...
It has had my thinking about what risk really means to me and/or what taking chances looks like in my life today. Would I be so bold as to call myself a risk taker? What am I willing to risk?
What I really want to know is, am I taking my life by the cajones and shooting for the stars. Am I risking ease and comfort for the quest of joy? Am I showing my girls what this looks like? Is this part of my Legacy?
That is the goal. Right?
This is what we want to teach our kids. To dream big, take chances, go for the gold. We want them to look fear in the face and tell it to eff the eff off. Go big or go home. We want them to dance with life. Then they will find joy. They need to risk it all for the promise of being happy.
Right?
I don't know. I know that I want them to walk past fear, yes. I know that I want them to live boldly and reach for those stars, for sure. But I also know that my perception of risk and taking chances has been changing lately.
I used to think it was all about the big visible chances. The ones that everyone can see and notice. The ones that you get patted on the back and put on a pedestal for. The ones that score you points with the world. The extraordinary.
I've taken some of these chances/risks. The ones that make people look at you and say "Damn girl, I didn't know you had it in you." or "Man, I wish I was that brave."
There was a time that these words fueled me. They built me up. They made me feel important, special, and seen. I wanted to surprise you. I wanted to be bigger or better. I wanted to feel like I was more then I felt inside. More then I thought I was. I wanted to believe what you were seeing.
It didn't work. Of course there were key and monumental lessons learned along the way. There were also many exciting and fun experiences that I am so grateful I got to live. I wouldn't change the course of my life, even with all the stops, turns, and dead ends. It was all important and good.
However, after all the hoopla calmed down, after the big move started to become the new normal, I would always find what I was left with......myself. I was everywhere I went. I was still me.
The shock and the "special" wore off. The belief that I was something better was gone. I then needed to look for the next big thing to make me feel those things again.
Hamster wheel
Today, what I believe God has used it all to teach me and what I am finding to be true, is that the real risks, chances, and opportunities to face my fears and feel completely alive..... they come in the ordinary, the intimate, and the vulnerable moments.
They are having the difficult conversations.
They are telling the truth.
They are sharing who I am, the real me.
They are loving. The deep, messy, and scary kind of love.
They are committing to that love. No matter what.
THIS is when I stop trying to prove and begin to believe in who I am. This is where the real joy is.
I want my girls to know that real risk is missing out on joy! How easily this can happen when we are "trying" so so hard to go big or go home.
Today the gutsy moves I pray to make are less about showing off and more about showing my heart. It is more about being who I really am then trying desperately to become what you want.
There will always be time for the worldly risks. The daring big, grabbing life by the cajones sort of thing. Those things are always there waiting for us.
But to be brave enough to get quiet, ease up on the push of life, be vulnerable and let the bubbling of who we are show us the way....that is some daring stuff. This is what will lead us to what God has wanted for us all along. Our very own personal adventure. There is nothing more exciting or fulfilling. And it is all laid out for us. IF we listen with willingness.
Get quiet, be still, tap in, and listen. There is a beat that is calling you to move. There is rhythm, a dance for you to do with this life. It was designed for just for you. Sometimes it will be a big and loud and exciting heart pumping dance and sometimes it is sweet slow intimate song. Both are worthwhile. Both are important. Both are needed. And both require risk. Sometimes the world's song will be turned up. It will make you feel like you have to jump and dive and spin in ways that take you off course. Sometimes you may even think it sounds better then your own tune. This is your reminder, once again, to get quiet. Check in with your soul. What is it telling you?
Please, just be sure that this rhythm you choose to move with, this dance, comes from the song of your heart. This is where you will find the joy.
