My Sisters

bdegeilh
Oct 6, 2014
5 min read

I wouldn’t be able to write anything about Legacy, family, me, my girls, without talking about these two. My sisters.

I am the oldest of three girls. Like Meredith and Cristina on Grey’s anatomy, they are each my person. My people.

It’s a weird thing to even try and put something into words about them. Our relationship just….is. It has always been there and will always be. . It’s a constant. A given. My reliance on them is rooted in a deep knowing that I am loved for exactly who I am. There is no pretending. They have witnessed my worst and have believed in my best, sometimes before I could even imagine what that looked like for myself.

When my girls bicker and annoy the crap out of each other I tell them, as they role their eyes, how blessed they are to have each other. Just like me and my sisters.

We were normal, my sisters and I. On a good day, we made each other laugh harder then anyone else could possibly do and, on not so good days, we battled.

Like most families, we each took on a role that we played out.

I was the oldest. I was bossy and controlling. I would try to direct every show we put on for our parents. Actually, I would try to direct just about everything we did together. I loved my little sisters. I was shy and quiet to the outside world but with my sisters…..I was all of me. I was safe and celebrated. Even though I was the oldest, I found my strength in them.

However, as I got older I withdrew. I became less bossy and more isolated. I shut down. My eating disorder became bigger then me. I was lost. They lost me. I was not there for them.

My role quickly became the one of the fragile heady one.

My middle sister was a giggly, loveable, heart opening artist. She always loved big and loud. She had so much energy that she told my mom she had to sit on her hands and hold onto the seat in school so that she didn’t just run outside. When she woke up in the morning she hit the ground like a tornado. Still does to some degree. She was not like me in the fact that she actually showed her hurt. Voiced it and wanted to make it better for everyone by being up beat and funny.

She took on the role of the emotional yet fun loving one.

My youngest sister was the athlete. Where us other two were insecure and nervous, she was confident and bold. She started on the varsity volleyball team in 8th grade. That would have sent my running but she took it on like a champ. At one point while she was in Junior High, she witnessed a boy bullying his “girlfriend”. Without thinking she stepped in and with one hand, since she was holding her books in the other, she reached in, grabbed the boy and slammed him up against the locker telling him to knock it off. I still wish I could have seen his face. She also has always grabbed a ton of attention because, not only could she spike the ball like a lightening bolt, she also looked like a swimsuit model doing it. This is a combo many envied.

She took on the role of beautiful bad ass.

These roles, labels, do hold some truth to them for sure. However, labels? They kinda suck. They can hold you down if you let them define you.

What I know today is that when I only saw myself as the fragile screw up, my sisters saw light in my dark. While they may have been playing the role of funny or athletic, I saw the heart and the soft. We have never let one another be defined by labels. No matter how easy that would be or how uncomfortable it is to reach for more, we have called each other out to find the truth of who we are.

The truth is we are ALL emotional, fragile, strong, bad ass, funny, and beautiful. We are all many, many things, more then we even know.

Having these two chicks in my life, that never allow me to settle for the sell out labels, has given me a grounding firm enough to jump off of.

This is what I want for my girls.

So when my three girls bicker and argue, I remind them…

I tell Grace that someday, when she is hurt by a friend, or is shopping for that perfect outfit, or gets that first job or has to call that guy she likes back and has no clue what to say….. the first people she will think to call will be her sisters. I tell Nola that someday when she breaks up with that guy or is deciding where to travel after college or is annoyed with her motherJ the only people that she will want to ask for help or complain to will be her sisters. I tell Adeline that they day will come when her baby has been crying all night or her spouse is driving her nuts or her toddler is cracking her up with cuteness or she is gathering courage to give a big speech or figuring out how much to charge her new client or just needs some help while standing in Target deciding what paper towels, tampons, or Christmas lights to buy…..it will be her sisters that she has on speed dial.

They are who will tell her she is missing the point, not listening to what she needs to hear, dressing like a soccer mom, in need of a dye job, not living up to her potential, selling out, or being a self centered jerk.

They are also the ones who will tell her she is on the right path, stronger then she thinks, brighter then she knows, talented, stunning, worth it, deserving, and always enough.

My sisters are at the very essence of who I am. They are like the sensation of butterflies in my belly. When life makes me feel, anything at all, they are there.

Here’s to

Singing way too loud
Dance circles
Hanging out on couches in old Christmas PJs talking about everything from making babies to foot cream
Sharing two parents that love us big
Farting in yoga class and blaming it on the old creepy guy that was wearing a thong?!
Being there, when things are messy, ugly, and awkward. Even finding the funny at the center of it
Loving each other’s kids, husbands, and puppies, like they are the part of us they really are
Choosing to be friends