Quiet Morning

It’s 8:15am. I am sitting on my couch with a cup of coffee in my P jams. The house is quiet. Even the dog went back to sleep after the morning rush of kids getting off to school. I am alone.

This is what I have been dreaming about for the past 11 ½ years. I have made lists and charts and vision boards and written out lengthy dreams of what I would do when I finally had this TIME.

Now, all I can hear running through my head is “Shit. Now what?”

Change. OY is all I can say. I haven’t really ever done it smoothly. I tend to trip, bang into stuff, fall, get back up only to fall again and be crazy stubborn and emotional (great combo) along the path of change.

The thing is, I crave it. Weird? Yes. Why would I crave the very thing that turns my life on it’s head and gives me anxious stomach issues?! Because……I crave life. I crave those discoveries you only find through the awkwardness of the new. I crave what is on the other side of this long, sometimes annoying, road. I crave the messy expansion that requires that I keep opening up to something much bigger then me.

I crave God. And this outside my comfort zone, fear producing, self-doubting, heart pumping with possibility journey is where I find Him.

Here’s to change.